Actually, the Germans are unlikely to shoot themselves in the foot

       I have to admit, I'm not an expert in macro economics.  I'm just a person who tries to stay informed about world events and who is (at present) an American on the ground in Germany.  Please, dear readers, correct me if I am wrong, but it seems that some smaller, weaker countries, like Greece, were able to borrow money like never before once they started to share the Euro currency with bigger, richer countries like Germany.  So, now that we are in a horrible recession, Greece has borrowed its way into oblivion and is having trouble making payments not only because it borrowed more than it could comfortably pay back, but because austerity measures resulted in a further slowing down of the economy (not to mention personal hardship and lapses in services) and the rampant tax evasion in Greece isn't helping either.  Also, nobody thinks Greece will pay up, so borrowing rates are sky-high.  Am I right?  Please, do tell me if I'm missing something here.
       Germany, by far the strongest and richest country on the Euro, is supposed to keep bailing out the weaker economies of Greece and (possibly) soon to be Italy, Spain, and Portugal.  The Germans seem to keep saying, "We've given them enough money, it's time for them to get their act together.  We have our act together, we pay our darn taxes and work until 67."  The Euro is a bit of a mess, and the leaders are now in Belgium trying to figure out what to do next.
     On June 26, Op-Ed contributors Kenneth Griffin and Anil Kashyap wrote the article, "To Save the Euro, Leave It" suggesting that instead of Greece (for example) leaving the Euro, that Germany should instead leave.  That's all "thinking outside the box" and sexy and off the wall and compelling and everything - but I can't see how you could actually talk the Germans into it.  The writers' idea is that once the Germans returned to the Deutschmark, the Euro would become instantly weaker, and the exports of Euro countries would become much cheaper and more competitive.  Additionally, a weaker Euro, "Would not solve the debt burdens of southern European countries, but it would give them needed breathing room to restructure their economies, reform labor markets, collect more taxes and reassure investors."  Please, pray tell, how would a weaker Euro allow a debt-strapped country to collect more taxes?  Tax evasion will somehow cease to be a problem with a weaker Euro, and all those Greek billionaires will allow the tax man into their giant offshore mattresses?
       But let's leave that aside for the moment.  The basic idea of this article is that Germany could fix things by leaving the Euro and going back to the Deutschmark.  That way, the Mark would be strong, the Euro would instantly be weaker, and other Euro country exports would instantly become more competitive than German exports abroad.  Apparently, once Germany would leave the Euro, Griffin and Kashyap believe that international companies will immediately start investing in tons of  factories in Spain, Portugal, Italy and Greece, as the newly depressed Euro will allow companies to hire people to make widgets at low low prices and sell beach-front condos at low low prices too.  Apparently Germany would just have to deal with not having exports that were as competitive.  I very much doubt that Italian/Greek/Spanish/Portuguese exports would take off at such a pace, but let's say (for the sake of argument) that the writers might be onto something. 
       There's just one thing I have to ask dearest Kash and Griff, "What 's in it for Germany?"  Unlike the United States, Germany is a net exporting country.  Exporting German goods is a major part of the German economy and the German culture.  K and G admit it's going to be painful for the Germans, at least at first, stating:  "Germany’s industrial base would unquestionably endure hardship in the transition to a stronger currency . . . Over time, the industrial base of Germany would adapt and move forward."
        Griffin and Kashyap are Harvard and MIT trained financial geniuses in Chicago, and I'm sure either one of them could crush me with a single thought.  But last week I was at a public school here in the German city where I live, a public school in a tough neighborhood.  I go there once a week to help any kid who wants some free extra help with English, and sometimes I look through the extra textbooks left for teacher reference.  There are many high schools, such as the one at which I volunteer, that train students for highly specialized factory jobs.  And their textbooks are amazing.  They go on and on about how wonderful it is that Germany is a next exporting country.  How great it is that MADE IN GERMANY is an international sign of high quality and excellent craftsmanship.  How the students will go on to work in a factory and become part of this proud tradition.  Most of the kids I work with won't go to college, but they will have good paying, steady, well-respected factory jobs because Germany protects its factories, it's factory workers, and its export culture.
       Those three English words, MADE IN GERMANY, are all over the place.  Because English is more widely understood that German, the proud saying is always in English, but all the Germans understand it.  Is the local soccer team playing a game against a Spanish team?  You'll see a sign with a picture of a Seville orange over a MADE IN SPAIN sign next to a picture of a steel orange juicer over a MADE IN GERMANY sign.  There are even contemporary art shows called MADE IN GERMANY that showcase sculptures and paintings by local artists. I'm confused.  Why would Germany voluntarily leave the Euro and make life harder for all the people who make German exports?  Why?  Why would Germany so blatantly act against its own financial interest? 
       I don't doubt that Kashyap and Griffin are brilliant financial minds.  And I know that something must be done about Greece, and something must be done about the Euro.  But, I believe they are mistaken if they think Germany is going to endanger its net exporting status just to help its neighbors.  Nobody wants to keep bailing out other countries.  But if it's between forking out another huge bailout or crippling German exports for the next 50 years, I think I know which one Germany's going to pick.  The Germans didn't even finish paying off their World War 1 reparations until 2010 - so they seem to be able to grit their teeth and write a check.  It doesn't mean that they are going to let Bavarian Motor Works (BMW) become Athenian Motor Works. The MADE IN GERMANY culture is deeper than Kashyap and Griffin seem to realize.  The Germans are going to make sure that 20 year old German factory worker has a job before they worry that a 20 year old Spanish factory worker has a job.  And really, can you blame them?

STEM Education - the word is getting out (kind of)

     Dearest readers - as you know - I went off on a huge rant about how the United States trains plenty of young people in Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math.  So many, in fact, that many of my friends with higher degrees in STEM subjects are having trouble finding work.  Nevertheless, various politicians and news outlets (I'm looking at you New York Times) seem to think that it is the gospel truth that America doesn't have enough scientists, and gosh darn it, it would just be 1960 again if only we could just make science more fun for kids!
      Slate, an online news magazine that I really respect, decided to put their two misinformed cents in and asked their readers to suggest ways to get American kids interested in science, because having more scientists will just fix all our problems.  Naturally, this prompted a letter to the editor from me that the entire premise of this project is flawed.  Naturally, I never heard back.
     However, Slate must have gotten some sort of message from somewhere, because today they posted an opinion piece by an actual scientist!  Actual, working scientists had been suspiciously lacking from the "getting kids into science will fix all our problems" song.  Derek Lowe, an actual chemist, wrote a fascinating article tellingly titled, "We don't need more scientists - we need better ones."  To summarize for you, he lets us know that there are plenty of American scientists who are underemployed, and that it won't help to add 1000 mediocre scientific minds when you need 1 genius.  He talks about the outsourcing of many routine scientific jobs, and how it isn't a good time, economically, to be a mediocre scientist.  He also worries that the next Isaac Newton might be in an area with inadequate scientific education, so he ends up being a farmer instead of unraveling the secrets of the universe.  He also worries that the greatest American mathematical minds are working in finance instead of mathematics.  Funny how absolutely sane, rational, and reasonable an actual scientist sounds.  He also states that there is no scientists shortage:

             We don’t need as many scientists as we can get just because they’re scientists. Does a bowl of soup need all the salt it can get? We need all the excellent ones we can find, without shoveling in people who’d just as soon be doing something else.


       I also really liked one of the comments from a man calling himself  Scientific_American.  The first and last sentences of his comment were, "I'm an academic researcher, with a focus on cancer research, and I 100% agree with this post . . . the very idea that there isn't enough people is the field is laughable."
       Alright, Slate may have broken the story.  What's the next news outlet that's going to catch on?

Nobody's with you on this, dude

       Clemens Wergin of Berlin wrote on June 15, 2012 in the New York Times Op-Ed section in a piece entitled "Go, Fight, but don't Win" in which he tells us that although he is German, he does not want Germany to win the current European Soccer Championship.  He feels that Europe is getting a little anxiety ridden about the Germans using their good economy (at present the strongest of all countries on the Euro) to dominate the continent politically.  Therefore, it would be a sign of German humility to graciously lose the games - or at least not try to hard to win.
       Well, Wergin, I'm going to tell you 2 things, please stick with me, friend.

1.  Nobody is with you on this

Almost every car, tricycle, wheelchair, and shop window that I see is sporting the German flag right now.  When the Germans beat the Dutch, people were literally celebrating on the street in front of my apartment building.  And I don't really live on that busy of a street.  (Way to publish a non-representative, not at all news opinion, NYTimes)


2. Soccer doesn't start or end international conflicts

If I'm wrong, please let me know - I am willing to learn.  But wars are not started or finished on the soccer pitch.  Yes, sports are important, especially to a nation's identity.  They just aren't that important politically.  Sports can't end an economic recession.  Whoever wins, at the end of the European Soccer Championship, the Germans are still going to have their strong economy, and Greece is still going to be in the middle of a giant disaster.  Yes, there are people who live and breathe soccer.  There are people glued to TV screens, and there are people yelling in stadiums.  There are people who will cry and scream and get drunk and tell their grandchildren about it one day.  But there isn't a sane adult human being in this world who would trade a steady paycheck in a stable country for a little ball kicked into a large net.

32 Innovations =That Will NOT Change Your Tomorrow (at least 24 won't)

    

            The New York Times’ June 1^st, 2012 article “32 Innovations That Will Change Your Tomorrow” is absolutely fascinating.  Nevertheless, I think it’s some predictions really misguided.  Scientific progress is inevitable, certainly, and that’s a very good thing.  But seriously – some inventions are just The Segway – they just don’t add much of anything we didn’t have before.  I have used the numbers that appear in the NYTimes article.

Here are the 24 they got wrong of the 32 Innovations that Will Change Tomorrow:

1.      Electricity Generating Clothes.  Sorry, NYT, but scientific clothes don’t seem to catch on.  Those color-changing-with-light t-shirts from the 80’s sank like a stone.  Unless we’re talking about gear for performance athletes, it’s the celebs and the fashion industry who set clothing trends, not some guy in a lab.  We’re going to have to have a serious energy crisis before people start using their pants to change their cell phones.

2.      The New Coffee.  Guys, coffee is already fantastic.  If you start putting Seville oranges and toasted almonds and berries into it, you’ve just made tea.  Which is also already as good as it’s going to get.  I don’t think there big areas to improve coffee – it’s already WAY popular.

3.      Analytical Work Out Underpants.  Here’s the quote, “The hope . . . is that when you see data telling you just how inert you really are, you’ll be inspired to lead a less sedentary life.”  Hahahahaha!  People already have that data in the form of what they see in the mirror, how they feel, and what their doctor tells them.  If they don’t pay attention to that data, why would they listen to their underpants?

4.      Giant Touch Screen Kitchen Tables/Cabinets/Counters.  This is basically a room size computer monitor in the kitchen.  How many people are there who need to work at a room size computer monitor while at the same time cooking meals?  Seriously?  How many people?  Do you really think the average home cook is going to shell out tens of thousands of collars for Tom Cruise’s Minority Report computer wall?  Why?  To go on a virtual tour of ancient Mesopotamia while making pancakes?

5.      Shampoo/ Conditioning/ Hair Drying Machine.  This would be cool.  Except it would probably pull your hair in uncomfortable ways and it would be 7000% more expensive than just washing your hair yourself.  Remember that giant financial crisis?  Does it sound like a good time to try to get people to pay 7000% more for the same thing they have been doing perfectly well since they were kids?

6.      Cars that have computer abilities to reduce traffic congestion.  This would be awesome – but again – giant financial crisis.  An even cheaper way to reduce traffic congestion:  take a bus, a train, or a bike.

7.  8.  9.  Better Bike.  Awesome ideas.  I like the anti-theft handlebars that wouldn’t allow a thief to steer the bike.  But please tell me how it’s that much better than the $5 bike lock I already have?  Again – giant financial crisis, and I already own the $5 bike lock.

11. Better Climate in Airplanes.  Awesome!  But it’s just a few hours, so I’m still going with the less comfortable airline if it’s cheaper.

12. Subway Straps that are also video games.  No thanks!  We have enough access to games on all our 400 mobile devices!

13. Anti-Slouch Computer Screen.  People don’t love it when their office furniture tells them to sit like a lady.  Office furniture is NOT grandma.

14. The SpeechJammer.  This gizmo shoots something at the target that scrambles his or her brain temporarily so that he or she can’t speak for a few seconds.  Here’s what’s going to happen.  Assholes will get this gizmo.  Someone won’t be able to yell, “Look out for that Bus,” and someone will die.  Then they will all be outlawed.  Also, wouldn’t using it be denying someone his or her freedom of speech?

15. The Idea of Being Nice to Employees.  Nobody ever thought of niceness before in the history of human society!!!  Thank you for that!!!

16. Your unique bodily movements as iPhone password.  Never let a friend/your child/stranger in an emergency use your phone again!

17. Less Safe Playgrounds.  Ummm – seriously?  Even if children like them better, cities and schools are not lining up to knowingly build more dangerous playgrounds so that they can be sued when kids break their heads open.  

18. Lying to Athletes to get them to perform better.  Again, litigation, my friend.  People don’t like being lied to.  If it’s ok to lie to a 21 year old kid to get him to run faster, is it also ok to lie to a 21 year old kid about how likely he is to suffer brain damage if he gets one more concussion?

20. Fake Chemical Booze that won’t give you a hangover.  I don’t know, maybe this will catch on.  It may also result in a gigantic increase in binge drinking.

21. The Mind-Reading Shopping Cart.  This is a shopping cart that follows you around the store, points you towards products on your list, and chides you if you buy oreos when you are supposed to be going low carb.  Ok, it sounds cool.  Would I pay more for my groceries to get to use a cool cart over a regular one?  Maybe – but I’d probably only do that once and then go get the same groceries cheaper elsewhere.  Also – hate to break it to you, mind-reading shopping cart inventors – but it’s WAY better for grocery store (financially) when their customers buy impulse items that weren’t on their lists and stray from their diets.

23. Teeth Microchips.  These are daily, disposable microchips that tell your dentist if you have plaque.  Now, how is this better than going to the dentist every 6 months?  Alao, two things, teeth sensor inventors:  people don’t like this dentist as big brother idea, and they aren’t going to be too crazy about accidentally swallowing lots of mini computer chips.

26. Household cleaners that point out nasty bacteria so you can clean the hell out of them.  Is this really a problem?  Are that many people really getting sick from E.coli in their bathrooms?  Are they the kind of people who would buy and then use this product?  Maybe it will be fantastic.  I can see it being useful in a lab, but is there really a need for this at home?  

28. Better TV Dinners.  Maybe these TV dinners will be way tastier than previous ones.  It’ll probably still be much cheaper and healthier to cook at home.  But, like so many things that add to the obesity epidemic, it might be a runaway financial success.

29. Yogurt in a strawberry pouch.  This idea is essentially making food packaging that comes in an edible container.  Do people want to eat their food in something called Wikicells?  I don’t know.  But like number 28 and so many other things that add to the obesity epidemic, it might be a runaway financial success.

      30. Garden Sensors that water and put pesticides on your plants.  This could be cool.  Also, it gives you more time to eat your wikicell yogurt in your giant room size monitor kitchen.  Never will people have to get some fresh air or eat non-chemical-laced food again.

31. Robo-Petting.  Petting a little strip of “smart fur” to get the same blood pressure lowering benefits as petting Fido is not going to work.  Because, sex is a great stress reliever too.  And the people who pet pieces of faux fur will never have sex again.